I find myself some days slipping. And I have to refocus on what I want. Lately what’s been helping me to stay positive and to keep eating raw foods is the bible. I find that God speaks to me so much through the words. I’ve been reading Ephesians and I found that the first chapter really shines to me.
“How we praise God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every blessing in heaven because we belong to Christ. Long ago, even before he made the world, God chose us to be his very own, through what Christ would do for us; he decided then to make us holy in his eyes, without a single fault-we who stand before him covered with his love. His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his family by sending Jesus Christ to die for us. And He did this because he wanted to!” Ephesians 1: 3-5 (Life Applications Bible)
God had already chosen me for his own! With a legacy like this, why not succeed! As another verse puts it: “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31 (New International Version). When I read Ephesians I can feel God’s Love for me flowing out of the pen of Paul! And when God Loves you, Really loves you, it changes the way you feel about yourself. I’m changing my thinking. I am beautiful the way I am, I am wanted and worthy of self-respect. When I look at myself in the mirror I no longer feel horror. Slowly I am accepting myself and as I do, I find that my body is also changing, and slimming down.
The more love I give myself the more I want to love and be around people. Where once I was very sheltered and withdrawn, I find myself reaching outside my comfort zone so to speak. Jesus redeemed me with his death on the cross, he loved me enough to die for me, now I need to love myself enough to accept who I am in Christ. That I am the beloved daughter God gave to my parents.
As I keep my thoughts on the verses of Ephesians 1:3-5, I am more willing to go outside and see the world. I’m willing to live life instead of letting life pass me by. My favorite verse is Romans 8:28: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” (King James Version)
Another motivator for me are pictures I’ve posted on the fridge from when I was a teenager. I wasn’t always obese. When I was a child and even early teens I was slim. I was 120 at the most for most of my teens. The weight went up to 160 at around age 16. I hadn’t even thought I was fat until I went for a checkup and the Doctor was horrified, and said to me “My you’re fat!” From that moment on I felt insecure about myself. I felt that there was now a reason for why I had been picked on throughout school, I felt now that the Doctor had that missing piece of why. Which was actually wrong.
When I was a little older, about 18, I went on depo-provera needles, which is birth control medication, every three months, for a year. The very first injection blew me up to 210 from 160! And slowly over the next 9 years I added more weight to myself. This year I weighed 255.
I’ve been eating about 50% raw most days. I’m slowly working on getting to about 80-90% raw food every day. Eating the raw food is actually so much better than eating cooked food. Even the first week, back in September, I noticed such a difference in myself. I was more alert, had more energy, was able to move around without any pain. But, over the last two months I’ve been eating more cooked foods than raw foods. And a couple days ago as I stated in another entry I ate white pasta for the first time in about 3 months! I got quite a reaction from my body for eating the white fluff! Just another motivator to eating more healthy.
When I really want to listen, God speaks his message very clearly to me. From reading God’s word, I know that I am to eat healthy and not to over eat. He also reminds me from family that I have support. He points out another piece of information from websites I visit about raw foods. I find books in the thrift store on being more healthy! God does have a sense of humor!
